30 Kasım 2010 Salı

melt / brunnenmarkt

melt in a line; ev.k; 2010

waiting for a bus to come; watching the dance of flight

ev.k; nov29th; wien

brunnenmarkt to nachmarkt to boem

i wake up in the flat next to cafe boem. i really think it's "upstairs." i thank them for letting me sleep upstairs. but it is not upstairs:) it is the same level as the cafe and the gallery all are on the ground level. but i really believe this flat is upstairs. now i am here again for a presentation and i go to the flat to get a hairdryer and as i come back to the gallery it still fells upstairs. strange...

we wake up at 10 in the morning and start laughing over the previous nights. then we have a small chat at the gallery and i believe hundred percent that they are honest and "samimi" in their interest in all people and political matters. that's good to feel.

then we walk to the brunnenmarkt with Orane. on the way an elderly man recognizes me from the previous night - the celebration for the choir and the magazine.

in the open market by the brunnenmarkt we stop by a little shop of 2 ladies preparing "gözleme." and actually they tell me that we could also eat at the nearby cafe - that's the same business and we could also have tea there. and that's what we do. drink many small glasses of real black tea: demleme çay! ah, sonunda!

and we talk about india, i imagine her teach english to the tibetan women. and the practice of really being at a place. and we even do an iterview in french about flying in dreams. she has a gorgeous smile:) there is a little boy, playing around. a women enters with a big back of patatoes over her shoulder. she moves to a room behind the kitchen. their bathroom is very clean. i look terrible. i wash my face with some warm water. it feels good. too much pain in the world. turn pain into beauty. share. be ful of courage.

a conversation - in a similar current - cotntinues with franziska after our meeting with Bettina and Joell. We eat in an asian retaurant. coconut sauce vegetables and rice. loveşy. she also orders food for a man who is homeless. but as we go out we cannot find him. he is gone. she has been to nepal and to india. we talk about many things. she listens to my story of constantly looking at the door. we also remember this thing about association and dissociation. and about an attachment - and non-attachment to places.

maybe u think u are not attached to a place and somehow something happens and you discover you were very attached after all. OR the opposite: u think u cannot leave a place. but then as you leave, as you pack up ypur things, you realize that u invested no enrgy whatsoever in this place and that u were so dis-attached.

tibetan monks clleansing places with a ceremony. i learn that the ceremony takes an hour. i so much look forward to witness this cleaning.

the places have a memory? or it is all perception? but if it is perception there should be an outside input, right.

29 Kasım 2010 Pazartesi

love: a sketch / shortest animation in progress

u-bahn: somebody might be reading niklas Luhmann's book on love. and somebody might be accidentally recording. a glimpse of the book. a moment of watching somebody reading a book that somebody else has just mentioned. a moment of watching a book move away together with the train. the pages turning.
maybe the setting should also change to reflect the perception?

red me by portrait by zeynep beler / prior to vienna

zeynep'cim bu çok guzel... en özel fotoğrafım sanırım. kendimi elimden tanıdığım, senin de beni burnumdan tanıdığın fotoğraf:))
Zeynep Beler, the coolest photographer ever

zeynep's photo of me. i recognize myself from my hand. she recognizes that it is me by the nose.

bu da arkeoloji müzesi yolunda. viyana yolculuğundan birkaç gün önce. zeyneeep, engiiin, arkeoloji bahçesi! özledim...

"bir de bir foto takildi gozumuze Contemporary 2010 dan onuda upload ettim :)" - engin çetin (paylaştı).
contemporary istanbul'a gitmişler. burcu'nun fotoğraflarından da beğendiklerim olmuştu. özellikle güneş'in ve yaşam'ın işleri...

ruyamda gayuş'umla renk seçiyorduk mavi tonları arasından

winged tree / kanatlı ağaç

botanical / botanik

It's so late
I think of you
He walks me home
I think of you
I'm so sorry, I'm so tired
I think of you
And in the shadows
I think of you
I close my eyes
I think of you
Now I'm falling
I think of you


Different thoughts are good for me

tanju okan : dostlarım

"I don't care about their different thoughts
Different thoughts are good for me"
tt - twist in my sobriety

"No wind that blew was bitterer than he"

"External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty."

- charles dickens: christmas carol:P

Schwedenplatz : 1st night of snow

2 exhibits; Lust gallery & magazin
afterwords svankmajer at filmcasino
so that was on friday, the 26th
catching back:P
3rd district; liquid snow
cem karaca: "parka"

botanik bahçesi: sinncapp / botanical garden: squirrelllll

“Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn sometimes” - prroverb

kardinal nagl platz

Fikret KızılokGecenin Üçünde
düz değil düzen değil - az değil ezen değil - boz değil bozan değil - bir gül biter içimde - tam bildiğin biçimde - gecenin tam üçünde
can değil canan değil - er değil eren değil - geç değil erken değil - bir gül biter içimde - tam bildiğin biçimde - gecenin tam üçünde

freeze, melt, evoparate

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.”
kurt vonnegut

"You don't know how hearts burn
For love that cannot live yet never dies
Until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes
You don't know what love is"

haydarpaşa train station - was burning today
heartache for the roof a building

"Too much sanity may be madness and the maddest of all, to see life as it is and not as it should be."

moment of flight / metro rüzgarı ile uçurma egzersizleri


brief moment of flight - to the wind of U-bahn

28 Kasım 2010 Pazar

serbian choir / streets of vienna under a gentle snow

and today proved to be one of the best days in Wİen.
first, cleaning the house together with Dani. a real cooperation here! give me five:))

afterwards, after a few phonecalls i finally ctach up with the travelling Choir - at the Nestroyplatz we meet. they move so fast. lucky that they stop to get a bite at the Nestroyplatz. thats how i catch up with them.
and at this turkish kebab place i also meet this TUrkish young boy whom i had met at an Orange store:)) and the guys at the shop serve me and Orane some free TUrkish tea. such a treat. their kebab sucks - but then i dont eat meat anyways...

so we move all together.
we move to the integration center and sing on the stairs. i join the choir; just singing the melody. cant do the serbian words. yet they include me somehow. i am already wearing red and we are singing workers songs. then we move downstairs for some drienks and conversation. it turns out that one of the guys live in rotterdam in Charlois: that's the only place i have been to in Rotterdam. he is amazed. actually my last night at rotterdam was spent just in the garden of his house as it turns out... a small world indeed. i meet another person who teaches theatre. i will email him.

so we move once more. this time to the bus station. the bus terminal where people are leaving or arriving. we sing by a big red sign. we sing a few songs here. this time i can sing along a bit.
a lady leaves 3 euros for us. we sing a song that subverts a nationalist austrian song.

aftewords we celebrate by coffee, hot chocolate or beer. and i see this canon G11: just what i wanted to check out!!! ask and it is given... ohi life is good at moments. it is snowing. orane is lovely with a big smile. i like her. martin, alex, michi, they are fine. and the members of the choir. i decide to tieach them the "çav bella" in turkish. we agree.

and another series of good rides. this time there is an accident and we take the S-bahn.
i arrive home, under a gentle snow.

i cook some soup and continue drawing for the shortest animation ever- that i made.

this will be a busy bee week.
tomorrow, the party at cafe boem; tuesday the presentation from indonesia; wednesday video times; friday the choir; and the weekend is an escape tp the mountains!

"trip" to ragnarhof

from ankerbrotfabrik to ragnarhof; the most fun tram&uBahn rides ever

ankerbrotfabrik - the french connection

nov. 27; ankerbrotfabrik; wien
photo by: deniz aygün

i have no difficulty finding my way to the ankerbrotfabrik: just follow the groups of folks who just look like they are going there...
music did not interest me that much. only the building itself and this head-band: nice work. and some details in the excess of works hung around. i felt like i met the artists just by looking at their works.
met a number of nice people - just too pointless to speak among all that banging drums
hmm the brass band was great. amusing. with golden costumes and masks and such.

good that i met friends from france and alex & joell from class so that we could move onto the other end of town.
again the music disapponted me; electronic all right but my expectations are high
i have my online music - if i go out it bettter beat the music i already listen to online
i dont have good speakers - if i had a great sound sysytem i would have to find another reason to go out
well i would stay indoors at night if i had a great sound system - all right


Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

alien connection

the french connection; turkish taxi driver proves his turkishness: guzele bakmak sevaptır; vienna is great except for an excess of smoke indoors
with the french guy we talk good*ly of the dutch boyzz & girls
my friend joell, his brother and the other french guy
the metro rides have never been this fun
lucky that we live close-by
the turkish taxi cab driver takes me home first
afterwords he will drop the french guyz

after the ankerbrotfabric, we take 2 metros to the other end of the city where the music is electronic and better
alex, the french boyz and the french girlzz
all i care about is the music
and the fragmentary beauty inherent in some of the earthly species
i guess i am an alien
half alien half earthly: related to jan svankmajer somehow

"take me back to the paradise city
where the grass is green and the girls are pretty"

27 Kasım 2010 Cumartesi

at Rhiz: gameboy music club

at Rihz we made paper boats
and i made some weird things with some tobacco paper
lovely small conversations with Deniz & Bernard
many folks are from the mountains
i love the mountains
the night i came across 2 Turkish busdrivers - the night line
one of them was really sure ı was from hıs vıllage ın BUrdur
ıt was a col cold nıght
when ı got kıcked out of the metro
and transfered to a series of buses
one person i asked my way to said:
"you dont know german" and made a sign that he would not help
i said: well, do you know english?
and did not feel a bit bad about not having conquered the austrian german language
there is a universal language when one person offers help to another
come on
dont fool me

snow topped cars; vienna / "kar" topped "kar"s

nov. 27, saturday; past midnight
snow topped cars
karlı araba kaportaları
bunu kitap kapağı yapmak isterim/
would like to make this into a book cover

kar on kar
snow ( in turkish:kar)
car (the pronounciation is "kar"- which means snow in turkish )

dreamstate / shut your eyes and see / svankmajer

the start of the film took me by surprise.
all my urges was there; jan svankmajer expressing it all.
and keeping a chronometer:))
ok; he is family! we are relatives!

1.why would one ever spare time for contemplating upon dreams
2.walking with eyes closed - an exercise i have been doing on the streets of vienna at nights after midnight especially when there are no cars - no one - so i count how many steps i can take without opening my eyes - and do i trust that the street will still be solid and when i open my eyes : did i walk in a straight line or which direction is my inclination?

some orientation between the heart - mind / between the dreamstate - conscious? state.

the mixing up of dream and reality that comes closest to my experience of it was hilarously expressed in this movie.

and it is just a scandal that i fell asleep in the final scene.
so still so curious what happened in the ned?
but i guess i was so much satisfied with the beginning that i chose to dream the rest.

the animated pictures of freud and jung were just too amusing!!!
freud closing his eyes when the women psychoanalyst is taking off her clothes to "treat" her patient.

Bangalore (just to note it down)

Bangalore Lal Bagh Gardens
upon a hint from a genie, i check out the bangalore gardens
i postpone transfering my photos of the botanical garden in wien
and just stare at the asian gardens through a comp screen
" islands of calm in even the weirdest places"

. we are in the botanical garden, among the bamboos.
franziska is speaking and reflecting upon Apichatpong Weerasethakul's movie
we have just seen a squirrel.

i am in the film casino
dozing off
this is a scandal in my own little private history

we are at lust gallery
there is a minişature street musician in a box hanging on the wall i like that
i stare at some videos
and at baloons
remembering that song with 99 baloons a few hours ago

just a funny day
as i said supersonic connections
typing is so slow for the mind
i d rather sing
or cough

topped with snow . rainish snow. snowish rain.

just too many associations; supersonic relations.
which songs should one sleep to after a day full of making & watching & criticising animations & dreams?

i wish i had downloaded the thai movie - Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives.
better to sleep to the sounds of a movie.

never postpone anything.
or rather sleep to the sound of this hybrid snow. rainish snow. snowish rain.

i remembered the flying tree in the btncl grdn during the svankmajer film but rather not talk aboutt that atm.

just decided to postpone some rotoscopy work. rather not do it now. hilarously contradicting myself again.and again.
i'd rather dance i'd rather dance with you... kings of convenience; allll righty

26 Kasım 2010 Cuma

Surviving Life (Theory and Practice)

tonight at the filmcasino: jan svankmajer's new film - Surviving Life (Theory and Practice) Přežít svůj život (teorie a praxe) --

i plan to still go to this movie and just stare at the pictures and pretend to understand german subtitles or listen to czech / and a few exhibitions to see before that

right thing, right time:))

the esay way: never my style; yet i wish...

getting things done the easy way is not my style, unfortunately.
that would save time - but i go with my instincts one more time...
wish me luck
so i go along with my first idea:
(this would also include the dead house fly i found on my table in the studio, standing in the upright position.)

25 Kasım 2010 Perşembe

the gazed-at world /2nd district by night

Evrim Kavcar

Evrim Kavcar For there’s a limit to gazing.
And the gazed-at world
Wants to blossom in love.
-rilke - turn of the road

2 minutes ago · ·
Evrim Kavcar

Evrim Kavcar ‎"You who are the heaviest counterweight to my astounding contemplation."
night by rilke

7 minutes ago · ·
    • Evrim Kavcar
      Night. O you whose countenance, dissolved
      in deepness, hovers above my face.
      You who are the heaviest counterweight
      to my astounding contemplation.

      Night, that trembles as reflected in my eyes,
      but in itself strong;
      inexhaustible creation, dominant,
      enduring beyond the earth's endurance;

      Night, full of newly created stars that leave
      trails of fire streaming from their seams
      as they soar in inaudible adventure
      through interstellar space:

      how, overshadowed by your all-embracing vastness,
      I appear minute!---
      Yet, being one with the ever more darkening earth,
      I dare to be in you.
      6 minutes ago ·