back in IStanbul

walking the streets of Istanbul, i see faces from Vienna. i mistake faces from here for faces from Vienna.

late at nights after leaving the studio, i want to go sleep in my room in the 3rd district and have coffee in the morning with Dani. i want to stop by BOEM and walk in augarten. sneak into the zoo without paying money. have lovely conversations with Franziska. stop by Bettina's class and MAren's class and make more animations at Thomas' class. and spend more time out on the streets and underground.

given a choice, i would still chose to live in Istanbul in a room with a backdoor that opens up to the bamboos in the botanical garden next to the BElvedere.

snow topped waves / vienna - north sea connection

2009 northsea - 2010 kardinal nagl platz, vienna snow

www.vayviyana.blogspot.com

viyana bloğumdur kendisi

held together with water & memories

water, snow, ice, and then comes in a melting heart

every now and then

perception deepens experience

we are time machines!

"If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see each other once or twice?"
— Richard Bach (Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

çok klişe; ve seviyorum bu klişeyi.

christmas dinner & a night's walk before chrsitmas

the pink on her cheeks give us pure joy; neverending games she comes up with every second

nordpol, christmas dinner

christmas dinner at Nordpol; 2nd district

nordpol: want to go there again. i love this place somehow.

walking from pratern to kardinal nagel platz

stories and other fragile things (always striving)

a fish about to slip back into the sea

suk; naschmarkt

on the way to semperdepot

karlsplatz, accidental rainbow, only on sunny days onlt at thr right angle

monument to the fly; october 2010; vienna; schillerplatz

"Stories are made up by people who make them up. If they work, they get retold. There's the magic of it."
*

"She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon. You think you know all there is to know about her immediately upon meeting her, but everything you think you know is wrong. Passion flows through her like a river of blood.

She only looked away for a moment, and the mask slipped, and you fell. All your tomorrows start here."

*

"..It occurs to me that the peculiarity of most things we think of as fragile is how tough they truly are. There were tricks we did with eggs, as children, to show how they were, in reality, tiny load-bearing marble halls; while the beat of the wings of a butterfly in the right place, we are told, can create a hurricane across an ocean. Hearts may break, but hearts are the toughest of muscles, able to pump for a lifetime, seventy times a minute, and scarcely falter along the way. Even dreams, the most delicate and intangible of things, can prove remarkable difficult to kill."
— Neil Gaiman (Fragile Things)

A longing to wander tears my heart

near karmeliterplatz; 2nd district

in front of the akademie, schillerplatz; 1st district

3rd district; near kardinal nagl platz

on the way back from the Gloriette, it was already dark. just stood still by the trees along the road. stood still and thanked the trees for their beauty. stood still and i watched and listened and smelled. shut my eyes and i could see. i cried to the beauty -to the presence- of the trees that day. a winter night i cried to the beauty of the trees. the trunks. the branches. the roots. leaves. slight movements in tune with the wind. i was seeing the trees these trees for the first time in my life. fascinating. fascinating. absolutely fascinating. imagined the fluid exchange between the earth and the veins of the tree. imagined the trees breathing. i thanked them for the air. for the freshness in the air. i cried to the stillness of the trees. to the silent witnesses of history.

(this was after our conversation with franziska at yak&yeti. she suggested that i go to the zoo and to the gloriette. i did so. )

*

Hietzing is the 13th municipal District of Vienna (German: 13. Bezirk, Hietzing). It is located west of the central districts, west ofMeidling.^[2] Hietzing is a heavily populated urban area with many residential buildings, but also contains large areas of the Vienna Woods, along with Schönbrunn Palace.^[1][2]

*

"Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

...
When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. (... ) Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one's suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness."
— Hermann Hesse

bent: towards the sun / vermisse die sonne

muısic for this post: Max Bruch – Kol Nidrei

"Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken."
Albert Camus

"Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth."
Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Crime and Punishment)

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
Rainer Maria Rilke

"I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible."
John Steinbeck (East of Eden)

just to rival that one:

"...my heart was irrevocably gone."

Jane Austen (Love and Friendship)

"Goodbye, said the fox. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince)

*

ICH VERMISSE DIE SONNE

snow melts in this heart; making room for the wind, the rain, and finally, the sun

3rd district, near rabenhof theatre

nov - december. 2010; ev.k

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold."

— Zelda Fitzgerald

courageous acts; the beauty of all that is vulnurable

3rd district; as snow melts

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)

busyy bee, that's me / sounds of the city

busy busy day.

finally i am home; and still need to work more. this is something other than a need; a passion i guess. so curious what will come out of these sound recordings, notes, and drawings.

so i guess now i need to make a schedule. i am terrible with schedules. yet always enjoy the challenge. so since making a schedule is a challenge, i should also enjoy that...

i am in love with the ZOOM sound recorder. I went to many spots, recorded all kinds (not all but many) kinds of sounds that i had an intuition i would use in trhe video and the animation. and also, when i am back in istanbul, it will be lovely to listen to the sounds. sounds are more real than pictures. somehow. they live in the present tense.

i sat among a group of birds. pigeons. they were not afraid of me. they came near my feet, my bag. they were busy trying to eat the pieces of dry bread. "dry": at that moment i could not remember this word. i said "solid." but anyways, i thought i was recording, but as it turns out, i did not record. you have to push twice. and i pushed only once on the record button. yes, the perfect way to learn is to make mistakes; is to fail!

kings of convenience sings that well:

Failure is always the best way to learn,
Retracing your steps untill you know,
Have no fear your wounds will heal.

bugun ses çekimi yaptım sokaklarda. kuş kanatları sesleri çektiğimi sandım ama meğer makinayı kullanmayı bilememişim çekmemiş. neyse . başka sesler çektim. yarın artık bi daha denicem kuş kanatlarını.
ama baya kuşların arasında allahın soğuğunda da oturdum yani. ve kaçmadılar. bıdı bıdı yuruyorlardı. az ucup konyorlardı

i had white tea with sweet luzi and johannes. i stopped by the labFactory to loook for my camera. and there i met Lutzi, so actually she is working there now, it turns out. i was so happy to see her. we looked around for my camera. and on that black box actually two hair-clips of mine were still standing. and finally the camera was also in the office.

and Lutzie said we could drink something warm at their place which was very near. it was really near. and such a cosy, beautiful, tidy house. there was a swing:( of course, i got on it. and some lovely conversation, completed with a twist of chocolate. so it was st. niklas day today as it turns out. so we HAD TO eat some chocolate. JOhannes is from Finland. I would love to visit Finland. I think Lutzi is from Steria. I am so curious about the mountainside of Austria. I believe most of the people i have met so far are from the mountains. And they are nice. they have a different sensibility towards materials. things. i like that. and she had some paintings from a street artist. i must learn the name. i forgıt the name.

a nd i learned a neue word today:

"bedienung"

the person in charge of the sound& video equipment taught me that. mr. hoerman. he has photos of Greek İSlands. I told him: "ich schwimme im meine draum." i am not sure if this is right; but "er versteht":P

i had made a photo of the photo of the greeek island with my cell phone. i should also transfer my photos from the cell phone. oh i should have hundreds by now...

yes, finally somebody thought i was JAPANESE! this afroamerican guy who sells homeless people's newspapers in the Kardinal NAgl PLatz. We met in other metro stations too. HE greets me all the time. He asked for my numberi but i said i had a TUrkish number. It's ok. He is from Cameroon. and i need to ask his name again. I think it is GODLUT.

i will write more and also upload some photos. now i need to drink some warm tea and listen to goo dmusic and take care so that i do not succumb to the flu. oh, yes, the flu. "the bloody cold"...

i adore how a person's use of language is passed on to another person. that's some empathy... or a flock psychology; hmm i would prefer empathy.

and today at some point, between many errands and places, i checked my emails from the MAc store. kids were playing computer games. I really recommend the Mac store fro checking your emails. it felt like a MAc-bar:P just needed some drinks. oh well... they wouldn't appreciate a cup of tea or hot kids punch near the MAcs, right.

travels with a found green / found green over snow

the found green loves this spot

found green's favorite spot in Vienna

"found green" makes shadows in the 3rd district

plant-pot in front of museumsquartier

the moment of encounter with the fallen green

fallen green

picked up green

found green

travelling green

found green rests at home

keeps company to my flying dreams

found green makes a good green wing

found green is actually a part of a pine tree

in case you did not recognize

i love the smell of pine

pine needles make a wing that will hurt you if you want to catch me while i am flying

found green is protective

found

free

fallen

flyin'

i am a pause / ben bir duraklamayım

Between going and staying the day wavers,

by Octavio Paz

Between going and staying the day wavers,
in love with its own transparency.
The circular afternoon is now a bay
where the world in stillness rocks.

All is visible and all elusive,
all is near and can't be touched.

Paper, book, pencil, glass,
rest in the shade of their names.

Time throbbing in my temples repeats
the same unchanging syllable of blood.

The light turns the indifferent wall
into a ghostly theater of reflections.

I find myself in the middle of an eye,
watching myself in its blank stare.

The moment scatters. Motionless,
I stay and go: I am a pause.